Develop your thoughts while listening
Make a message
This technique will help to tactfully provide feedback to the opponent. Depending on the situation, it can be used in two forms:
Message of understanding. The listener voices his or her impressions of the interlocutor or contact. This approach is ideal for improving communication between adults and children, husband and wife, etc.
Self-perception message. In overseas chinese in usa data this case, the interlocutor shares internal experiences after the conversation and describes what changes he felt.
Regardless of what message was encrypted in the message (positive or negative), it is important to express it in a friendly and calm tone. Aggression, impudence, rudeness and other negative manifestations will immediately bring to naught all efforts and will not allow you to achieve the desired result.
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Talk about emotions
This active listening technique encourages genuine conversation about the other person's inner state and a demonstration of intentions to help.
For example, if a person is upset during a conversation, this technique is expressed by the words: “I know how hard it is for you to talk about this .” Such a message demonstrates an attentive attitude, a manifestation of sensitivity, which often becomes the basis for a trusting relationship.
Make comments about how the conversation is going
The use of this method will help to record the result of the positive/negative development of the conversation. The technique consists of achieving a common understanding of the essence of the conversation. If there are discrepancies, such a message will reveal a problem with perception. Thus, another stage is created for finding contact (after clarifying the topic of the dispute or misunderstanding).
Language techniques need to be diluted with non-verbal ways of transmitting information. Let's consider the main tools of interaction at the unconscious level:
eye contact – a calm look indicates confidence and can suggest what the interlocutor is currently feeling;
personal boundaries - when a person leans forward a little during a conversation, this indicates their interest. But you don't need to hang over them if the distance between you is less than 0.4-0.5 m;
feedback - a conversation involves the involvement of the interlocutors (assent, nodding, answers, expressions of support, etc.);
repetition – mirroring of gestures, facial expressions or postures is perceived as a kind of kinship;
showing patience towards the emotions of the interlocutor: be calm about his irritation, aggression or anger, but show concern;
body language: a friendly smile, a pleasant voice (this will evoke a positive reaction).
Notes on the flow of the conversation
The technique of active listening can be found in different situations. In a work collective, it helps improve relationships with colleagues. In a family, it will help to survive crisis moments and quarrels. This technique can be manifested both verbally and non-verbally. The second moment includes active gestures and facial expressions that improve your relationships. In the first case, these are well-chosen words. For example:
"What exactly do you mean?"
"Oh! I understand you so well!"
"This is actually very interesting!"
Here you can also ask a question about how the story that the interlocutor is telling happened.
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